Since becoming an Intuitive Eating counselor a few years ago I may have said (or written) anti weight loss type things. And that’s because Intuitive Eating is based on a weight neutral, anti-diet philosophy (and for this reason not everyone's cup of tea).
Well, and also because when you start to understand all the harms caused by diet culture you start to get a wee bit mad.
And unlike most fads, diets or cleanses out there, the goal of Intuitive Eating isn’t to lose weight.
It’s about mending one's relationship to food and body. So quite the opposite.
Because 99% of us have had a fraught relationship to food and our bodies due to the societal pressure to look a certain way.
Toned and sculpted.
Lean and fit.
Yoga body.
So it’s not that I’m anti weight loss per se, but rather, I’m anti all-the-shit that goes along with it.
Losing weight isn’t easy. Keeping it off is even harder because it often requires a tremendous amount of effort. One that many people can't sustain.
Fatphobia is everywhere, including healthcare
And just because your doctor advises you to lose weight (versus doing so for your own reasons) doesn’t make it any easier. In fact, it may feel even harder because now you have the pressure from a professional. A medical one.
I'm not suggesting you don't listen to your doctor. But it's important to understand that medical care is highly fatphobic. And many health professionals will recommend weight loss no matter what your condition is, or without investigating it, because of their own beliefs and biases.
So next time your doctor advises you to lose weight, you can also ask them what else you can do besides, or in addition to, losing weight. And the other suggestions should be things that address the condition directly, not encourage the weight loss.
Weight regain makes you feel like a failure
The thing is, when you do lose weight (yay!) but you don’t keep it off (boo!) you feel like a failure, like something is wrong with you.
As a client in her forties once said “My body is broken”.
This is the bullshit that us women (and people in general) end up believing about ourselves because of some flawed, colonial notion of body ideals.
I’ve worked with Latin American women who, for the most part, don’t have European type bodies. But they’re somehow expected to.
Ok, I can feel myself getting worked up so I'll move on to my tips now...
Four tips to begin moving towards body acceptance
1. Your body is wise. If you have a hard time losing weight, or regain very quickly, it’s for a reason. And not because your body is flawed. Don’t forget that our bodies slow down as we get older, including our metabolism. We also all have a set-point weight. That’s essentially the weight range determined by our genetics.
2. Reflect on your need or desire to lose weight. Be honest with yourself. Is it a health reason? Esthetic reason? Do you believe you’ll be happier if you lose weight? What is the real reason for wanting to lose weight? Reflect neutrally. No reason is bad or wrong.
3. If it’s a health related reason, what are some other healthy behaviours that will help you manage that specific health condition? Because I can assure you weight loss isn’t the only one, as much as it’s made out to be. Focus on the other health-promoting behaviours versus the weight loss itself (i.e. exercise, reducing your intake of pop, eating more fatty fish, deep breathing, taking more days off work, etc.…but these will depend on the specific health condition you’re trying to manage). What would a thin person with this health condition be advised?
4. You don’t HAVE TO lose weight. You really don’t. Your life doesn’t HAVE TO revolve around the pursuit of a smaller body. This doesn’t mean you stop caring about yourself and your health. Quite the contrary actually. Depending on how much time and emotional energy you've spent on pursuing weight loss throughout your life, letting go of it (the pursuit) could end up being one of the best things you do for your health. And when you're in a place of peace and tranquility, that place where you can just....(exhales).... feel truly at peace, you are much LESS likely to engage in self-destructive behaviours and much MORE likely to engage in healthy and self-caring ones.
It's not you, and you're body isn't flawed
You and I were raised in this society. And if not this exact one, another with similar diet culture values (i.e. thinner is better).
Ok, so I know I still sound kinda anti weight loss. I’m not. But you can see how problematic it can be.
If you're actively trying to lose weight and reading this, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with our society steeped in diet culture.
And I know there are cases where weight management is highly recommended.
Maybe you have a weight loss or weight management success story of your own. And if yours is a good, positive one, I want to celebrate that with you!
And I'm truly happy for you if you're happy. I just don’t want to see anymore women have to suffer through weight loss, or believe that it’s something they have to do.
Question it.
Challenge it.
Your body isn't flawed.
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